![]() ![]() Respect for the other person, and model treating everyone with respect, even when you disagree.Ĥ. Experiment with finding ways to assert your own needs or rights while maintaining Your child is learning from watching you. Conversely, if you tend to back down easily so you don't make a scene, but then later feel pushed-around, it's ![]() If you lose your temper and curse out other drivers, even from the privacy of your own car, you're teaching your child that sometimes it's okay Model confident, respectful behavior with other people. So prioritize your relationship with your child, and keep those lines of communication open, no matter what. The guidance won't stick unless you have the relationship to support it, and will just drive your child away. How do you make sure your child would tell you if they were being bullied? Remember, parenting is 80% connection - a close relationship with yourĬhild - and only 20% guidance. Your child knows that you will always listen, and that you have their back, they are more likely to talk with you about things that upset them. And kids are often ashamed that they're being bullied, so they are hesitant to tell their parents. Lonely kids are more likely to be bullied. Stay connected to your child through thick and thin. ![]() For compassionate discipline that works, see the section on Peaceful Discipline on this website. Is often perceived by children as adults using force to get their way, which teaches them that bullying is okay. In fact, any discipline methods that use power over a child teach him to use power over others, or to let others use power over him. Research has repeatedly established that physically disciplining a child is associated with more bullying behaviors. If you spank, your child will learn that physical violence is the way to respond to interpersonal problems. Children learn both sides of every relationship, and they can act either Rather than relationships that use power or force to control them. The most effective way to keep children from being bullied, and from becoming bullies, is to make sure they grow up in loving, respectful relationships, Model compassionate, respectful relationships from the time your child is small.Īs Alice Miller, author of Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, wrote: "If children have been accustomed from the start to having their world respected, they will have no trouble later in life recognizing disrespect directed against them in any form and will rebel against it on their own." The good news is that you can help your child develop the skills to stand up to bullying behavior, and you can keep him fromīecoming a bully. Of bullying include higher risk for depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse and self-destructive behavior. Recent research shows that long-term consequences The interaction of bullying and social media seems to have increased the psychological danger, so that kids feel they don't have a safe refuge,Īnd more teens and even middle schoolers are committing suicide in response to bullying. Unfortunately, our school cultures are still struggling to implement effective approaches, and the situation is getting worse in many communities. Restorative justice circles, conflict resolution training and transforming the culture of a school have all been proven to be more effectiveĪpproaches to reduce bullying than targeting bullies with punitive punishment. Many kids describe themselves as having been subjected to bullying but also as having bullied others. ![]() Schoolers admit to participating in bullying behavior, so clearly our culture bears some responsibility for the pervasiveness of bullying. Depending on which survey you read, between 40 and 80 percent of middle The awareness and skills to protect himself when necessary, and to seek help when he's in over his head.īullying behavior begins in preschool and gains momentum as kids grow. Your goal is not to insulate your child, but to support him to develop And all children want to get their way, which means they will sometimes abuse power that's developmentally normalĪnd short-lived in a context where they're also developing empathy. There have always been hurting people who act out by hurting others, and your child's path will Unfortunately, then, kids who are hurting often hurt other kids.Ĭan you bully-proof your child? Unfortunately, no. Humiliated, threatened, or hurt him, those feelings often threaten to overwhelm his psyche, and he lashes out, wanting to humiliate, threaten If he's hurting inside, it can help him feel a little better for a short time. Power by bullying can feel as potent as a drug. And for a child or teen who often feels powerless in her life, abusing In healthy ways, it can be hard to resist using it in unhealthy ways. We all need to feel powerful in our lives. Why would a young person do such a thing? Because it gives her power. ![]()
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